A few weeks ago I saw a “semi-Indie” movie on Netflix called “TiMER”. The premise of the film is – in the not too far future, scientists come up with a gadget that after being implanted into your body will tell you how long you have before you meet your soul mate. Let’s leave the science out of it. Let’s also ignore practicality – in order for this technology to work, everyone must have the gadget implanted.
I am more interested in the “soul mate” idea pushed by the film. The film barely talks about the idea outside of the romantic situations; not that it should, it is a romantic comedy after all.
Imagine for a moment that this machine/system/environment does exist and everyone does buy into using/wearing it. The sociological implications would be huge. You do not marry or be with anyone with whom you are not “predestined” to be with. The amount of divorces will drastically go down. The number of single parent homes will evaporate or, at the very least, go down a lot. The young black family man will no longer be considered an endangered species. Stable families will lead to better educational opportunities for the children (ok, I am stretching it here but it sounds nice) and thus increase the effectiveness and efficiency of the overall societal labor. The number of abortions *should* go down as the promiscuity rates will go down (I am *not* taking a moral stand one way or another on this one here). There are far reaching implications of this socioeconomically and anthropologically – the violence levels in the society will go down, the rate of physical and mental abuse will also go down, the poverty will go down, and the “happiness” level will go up quite a bit. I am sure there are many many other ways how it will impact the society in the positive.
Thinking about it, there are a number of things that will be impacted. First and foremost, the concept of “free will” will go out of window – if I am predestined to be with someone and I am consciously aware of this, there is not much I can do to “try my luck”. Another big one is the creativity levels of the society. I strongly believe that our need to belong to a group, and specifically with someone special, drives many of our major decisions. If the “necessity is the mother of invention” is true, and to me it is, our need to belong creates a large number of inventions, putting the creative process at play. I am not even talking about literature and art here – there is no room for Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, the troubadours, Iliad and, by extension, Odyssey, or even a big part of the Old Testament. I am talking about things like the beauty industry that is 90% focused on making us attractive to others, the diet industry, and so on.
A VERY important idea for me is the concept of learning/experiencing through the “mistakes” and getting indirect benefits from such. Here is an example from my personal life. 10 years ago I met my soon-to-be ex-wife. Right now, we both can say that we were not “made for each other.” While there were many things that pulled us together – similar backgrounds, likes, views on life, etc, they were not enough to keep us together. Still, we had a good, if not fulfilling 10 year relationship out of which we got two amazing girls, a business that is flourishing, and personal growth to a ridiculous level. I can safely say that my ex-partner was the best teacher I ever had or wished for. Through living and interacting with her I have grown tremendously. Just because she is not my “soul mate” as the movie describes it, should I consider the 10 years of my life wasted and by extension negate the kids or the business. An empathic “No!” to this. Through this, albeit long, experience I have learned what it is I desire in my mate and what *I* will bring to the relationship. I will also appreciate the relationship a lot more now that I know the contrast. Of course, I am not just talking about the last, long one, but the previous ones as well.
It is through the contrast (Lao Tzu’s Taoist duality) that the majority of our worldly experiences occur. Once we remove what I believe is the major cause of contrast (the unhappy endings of personal relationships), our appreciation of what we reach for will disappear. And, the world will become boring.
Thoughts?