Yesterday I had a “date” with my niece Becky (she prefers to go by Rebecca as she is an adult now but I am not changing my ways). Once in a while, she and I get together for dinner or movies or both. Yesterday, by the time she got into the city, it was too late to do anything but dinner. OK, some drinks as well but that is a given.
We went to this hole in a wall in the outer Mission district called Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack. Funny, my memories of the Mission district from the late 90’s / early 2000’s are that it is full of crime, poor immigrants, and crappy food. Times have changed. With the gentrification of SF, it is becoming hip and desirable.
While waiting for the table, we had a couple of drinks in an adjoint bar. Becky has been in a relationship with her bf for 2 years and got into an argument 2 days ago on the Valentine’s Day where he walked out on her.
So here we are – she is freaking out about her relationship and I am brooding on my divorce. I am trying to pep her up with all the positive psychology drek and she is trying to convince me that I will be quite successful “out there” after 10 years of being in a relationship/marriage. Neither one of us is doing a good job at making the other one feel better. I have been out of the game for a while and was curious about all the rules.
According to Becky, the rules of supply and demand are very pronounced when it comes to heterosexual dating in SF. The availability of “eligible” straight men is very limited. So, I ask her for a definition of an eligible man. Her answer got me worried about the modern culture and the availability of the good gene pool (see a movie called Idiocracy). If a man looks more or less presentable, can feed and dress himself, and is not a known rapist, he already has a head start on most men.
Not sure I want to be a part of this group. What happened to chivalry, the simple act of opening a door for a woman, being courteous by saying “hello”, “thank you”, “goodbye”, and other things that were a norm not too long ago? As Becky says, most single men nowadays have the “Peter Pan complex”. What does it say about the women looking for someone to share their lives with?
I guess I will have to wait and see. Not that I am looking for anyone – kids and the company are more than enough to focus on right now.